Priorities

What is really important?  How is your life prioritized?

When asked, I say my family is my number one priority.  Everything else comes after that.  Being a great mom and a great wife are my passion.  I believe many women feel this way.  We prepare food to nourish them.  We may have a career to financially support our family.  Shopping, laundry, housekeeping, doctor visits, school projects, oil changes, sports, spiritual studies, yard work, and the list goes on.  Perhaps your kids are grown, or you and your partner do not have children.  Chances are you still have a list of all the important things that need to be done.

The question I have is how we actually determine what is more important?  Most of us would never consider that our needs and desires come first.  Oh, I know I ruffled feathers there!  Many relationships can suffer when one person not getting what they need or want.  If I really want to start a business grooming Alpacas, why can't I?  Think about it.  If my hearts desire, my personal mission in life, my drive is in the downy coats of Alpacas, will I be a happy person working behind a desk?  If I really love getting my hands greasy under the hood of a car, will I be happy making donuts?  It's essential for us to follow our hearts.  Not someday when I have the money, or when Pat finishes school, or when I have the time.  NOW!

My point is, we have been programed as women to do for others.  Don't get me wrong, I love that part of my life.  It's my passion.  The part I seem to miss is taking care of me.  I tend to put my needs and desires last on the list.  I'm been tired after a long day of working, but rather than take 15 minutes for a shower or a walk, I drudgingly step in the laundry room to put another load of wash in before dinner because it's what needs to be done.  Never mind that I have bitten everyone's head off all evening.  I've gotten up and pack kids lunches in the morning and skipped breakfast, or ate something while I'm driving kids to school.  Never mind that I've been distracted and hungry.  This isn't loving behavior.  This is martyrdom.  Its the same thing that says I have to ask to take a few hours away, or a weekend to spend with friends.  I have to make sure the calendar is clear of everyone else's events.

We are whole, complete and worthy of time, attention, money, relaxation, hanging out with our friends and love. My number one priority is ME!  This is the only body I have, I am the only mom and wife for my family.  If I'm sick, tired, depressed, angry or anxious, how much can I focus on my family?  My job?  My partner?  How much extra time, money, and recovery will it take when I have to be put on medication for high blood pressure, diabetes, psychiatry, drug rehabilitation or other serious issues?  Most of all, what kind of example am I giving to those around me?

So, my conclusion is this.  I need to take care of myself to efficiently take care of the others I love in a positive and loving way.  That may mean taking that shower or walking in the park.  Maybe its buying my favorite bag of cookies and saving them just for me.  Preparing a meal with my favorite foods.  Better yet, asking someone else to make the food.  Taking time to "recharge my batteries"  make me more energetic and enthusiastic about my life and makes me a much more positive person, and a much better example for my children and loved ones.